Friday, November 14, 2008

Day 87 on Lexapro.

Day 65 on Lamictal.

posted much, much later…

This day, Em and I both felt better. I went to work and she went to school and I was overly thrilled it was the weekend. We had fun plans in store.

This night, we had been invited to have dinner with E. Liz. She was preparing some jambalaya and hoped we’d stay to play Rock Band as well. We were hoping we could, too.

Initially, I thought Em would spend the night with my mom (as I had a job the next day), but when she was invited along, I decided she should stay with me instead. I was going to photograph one of her best friend’s peewee football games and there would be friends in the stands who would be there with her to cheer him on.

When I called my mom to tell her Em would be staying with me, she lamented about all of the spaghetti she had cooked that was waiting for us.

Well, it wasn’t the first time I’d accepted two dinner invitations, so I told her we’d drop by and eat with them, too. I thought this was a good plan, particularly since I was sure Em wouldn’t be keen on the jambalaya. (For some reason, she isn’t a fan of rice.)

So, we went to my mom’s and ate and then drove ourselves over to visit E. Liz, who was unphased by our spaghetti eating, since the jambalaya had taken a while to heat up anyway.

When we got there, though, Em started to say she did not feel well. Then, she began to scream in pain. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she said her ear hurt. So, we had to go hme.

On the way, I stopped at the drugstore and purchased some medication. Upon arriving home, I promised to take very good care of her. When we got inside, I gave her some medicine and dressed her in her pajamas and rocked her. I told her she could sleep with me so I could keep an eye on her throughout the night.

I don’t think she ever stopped screaming during this time.

Then, she fell asleep. I think the medication had knocked her out.

Throughout the night, she awoke several times, screaming desperately each time.

“Mommie, please help me! Mommie!”

It broke my heart.

I realized the only thing that soothed her was rocking her and singing to her softly.

It was so sweet, it soothed me, too.

It reminded of the times I had rocked her when she was still a tiny baby. Night after night I had risen to nurse her and sang along with James Taylor to lull her back to sleep.

This night, I sang by myself.

Goodnight, you moonlight ladies; Rock-a-bye sweet baby James. Deep greens and blues Are the colors I choose. Won’t you let me go down In my dreams And rock-a-bye sweet baby James.

Over and over again.