Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Day 111 on Lexapro

Day 88 on Lamictal

posted much, much later…

This day, as we left our home, we opened the door to find that it was raining outside.

“I need my raincoat!” Em yelped in response.

“Yes,” I replied. “That is not a bad idea!”

And so I ran back into the house and retrieved it from her closet.

Then we put it on and pulled up the hood and headed to school.

And she was really proud.

The raincoat is, you see, very adorable. It looks like a ladybug. It is red with black dots and big eyes on the hood and antenna sticking up, too.

Em was so cute in it.

And she knew it.

So, when she marched into the hallway where her classmates stood, she couldn’t understand why they reacted the way they did.

First, it was the boys.

“Look,” they said. “Em is a ladybug.”

And she smiled proudly at them.

But the smile faded when it became apparent that the laughs that erupted were not so nice.

The hurt I saw in her eyes stabbed me like a million knives right through my heart.

Then she turned to the girls, who were already pointing and laughing wildly.

By this time, I was on my knees behind her.

So when she turned to me, I was waiting.

And so softly, and so sadly, she whispered, “Why are they laughing me?”

Right then, my heart was certainly broken.

I had no answer.

I just leaned my head into hers and shook my head.

Then, a teacher came up and and began praising Em for her choice to wear such an adorable ladybug raincoat.

“How smart she is,” the teacher said. ”This helps her stay dry even when it’s raining outside.”

And eventually the laughter died. And the kids moved in.

“Let me help you take this off,” one of them said, pulling at Em’s red coat.

And then something happened.

With amazing resolve, Em turned to the girl.

“No,” she told her. “I am keeping this on all day.”

Then she turned to me and told me she wanted me to see her cubby.

“Okay,” I replied, as she led me into her classroom.

When we arrived at her cubby, we deposited her backpack and I asked if she needed help removing her raincoat.

“No, Mommie,” she repeated adamantly. “I am wearing this all day!”

And she did.