Thursday, September 4, 2008

Day 24 on Lexapro.

Day 1 on Lamactil.

written one day later.

The night before, I dreamt about spiders. When I walked outside this morning, these were on my patio wall.

When I woke this day, I felt very good. The night before, while on the phone with a good friend, the aching mania had gone away. I was free again. And so, when I woke a little earlier than usual, I was glad. I took the time to get a few things done and left early enough to pick up a Route 44 Cherry Dr. Pepper at Sonic.

I was thrilled when they only charged me half the normal price.

“Why did you do that?!” I asked the exceedingly pleasant carhop.

“Oh well, because you come here, like, every day!” She answered, smiling.

This is a great day, I thought.

And I had a lot to look forward to. Em was spending the night with my parents so I could rest. It had been a long week and I needed to take it easy. This night, I planned to go to dinner with E. Liz. Her treat. My delight. I was so excited.

This day, work was a breeze. I was happy. I was even happier at two o’clock when I got to leave.

When I got home, the bugs were still there. But now they were bigger.

Curious, I thought, as I passed them by.

I went inside and got online to chat with E. Liz. Naturally, I told her about the bugs and showed her the picture I had taken that morning.

“Spray them!” She said via messenger. “Spray them now!”

“You think I should?” I asked as I searched online, trying to figure out what they were. “I don’t know what they’re going to turn into!”

“Spray! Spray! Spray!” She commanded. “Whatever it is, it won’t be puppies!”

And then I fell out of my chair laughing. Oh, how I love humor. It is so healing to the soul.

This afternoon, another two of my favorite sopranos were supposed to come for a visit. They also brought the promise of highly anticipated goodies. I looked forward to seeing them. Unfortunately, though, due to a dead cell phone and a persnickety apartment gate, the visit was not meant to be.

So, I waited until 6 o’clock when E. Liz showed up to take me to dinner. I jumped in her car where we delightedly sang some of our favorite songs. It was a wonderful time.

After dinner, E. Liz took me to church to explore its garage sale. We were going after hours, as K. Paige and her mom had suggested. They knew I was still having trouble with large…and small…groups of people. Despite a mild panic attack, we went through and found some clothes , shoes, and CD’s for Em. Overall, it was a successful outing.

Then, K. Paige’s mom loaded me with goodies: my Lamactil, a wonderful shrimp and rice casserole, a dessert called “Zebra Meatloaf”, home-baked cookies, mysterious donations, fun things for Em’s room and a gift for Em herself, and I can’t even remember what else.

We are so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives at this time. I am truly and eternally grateful. If any of my friends were in the same spot, I would do everything I could to do the same for them.

When I got home, I took five pills before going to bed: my Lexapro, Lamactil, a prenatal vitamin, and two Tylenol PM. E. Liz had suggested the prenatal vitamins as my body was getting so worn down. It wasn’t a bad idea. This night, I slept very well indeed.

“When I wake up in my makeup/It’s too early for that dress/Wilted and faded somewhere in Hollywood/I’m glad I came here…” — Hole